Real Member Story - "Abscess Insurance"

HIF News

After joining HIF recently, new member Renae had such a great experience that she felt compelled to write about it on her personal blog. We were so delighted to read her feedback that we sought her permission to share it on our own blog too and trust us - not only is it a terrific review of our Sales Consultant, Shamus, but it's also a highly entertaining read!

Abscess Insurance

I would like to take you all on a mystical journey, a tale of a festering tooth abscess and Private Health insurance. But before we set sail, it is worth a mention that this is by no means a paid endorsement. It is actually more indicative of my old age and enthusiastic response to awesome customer service.

Let me take you back 17 years, when I was brimming with youthful exuberance in my prime as an 18 year old. I had this piss farting little tooth that sat next to the star of the show (that bad boy front tooth). This tiny tooth was suffering from ‘small man syndrome’ and was a pain in my ass, often he would kick up a fuss when a cold breeze came his way and he despised my enthusiasm for eating and drinking anything with a core temperature lower than the sun.

So my mum insisted I trudge off to her dentist. I hated her dentist because he had abnormally hairy arms and the hairs would glisten in the light the shove in your face whilst working on teeth. But I digress, basically the hairy dentist informed us that tiny tooth needed a root canal stat. My mother (the great buttinski) interjected with concerns of the cosmetic appearance after having this work done. After being told that the tooth had the propensity to turn grey, she bustled me out of there saying “let’s just buy you some Sensodyne toothpaste and move on”.

Fast forward 17 years and I get a bulge in my mouth above the tiny (and highly volatile) tooth. Now that I’m seemingly more mature I decided to leave mum behind and go to the dentist alone. My new dentist rules! and has no issues with excessive hairyness or sweating. She did however drop a truth bomb on me saying “this is a chronic tooth abscess, the largest I have ever seen”. She wasn’t lying because she gathered all her colleagues together to marvel at the 8th wonder of the world caused by that asshole tooth. So I’m laying there with my dental goggles on listening to the “action plan” of how they are going to tackle this beast.

My ears prick up when I hear “I sure hope you have private health insurance”. I’m all calm at this stage thinking ‘yep the mothership made me get health insurance years ago so this is no financial drama’. After starting phase 1 of ‘operation abscess attack’ I go to pay my bill. Turns out even though I have paid hundreds of dollars to my private health fund for 20 years they were not even covering a fricken dental x-ray.

I went home in tears and immediately called my health insurer. For the sake of any litigious purposes we will call them Medium Pirates. I call up (whilst doing the ugly soul heaving cry) and I explain what has happened and tell them I’m baffled that my dental plan basically covered nothing. I was paying $36 dollars a fortnight to be covered for a pair of glasses and a chiropractor I don’t need.

I begged and pleaded with this lady to expand my dental coverage but was told I would have to wait a whole year for coverage. I got off the phone and flopped on the floor in a dramatic display of emotions (for my husbands sake so he could truly feel the depth of my despair). He is so accustomed to my interpretive dance displays that he said “for gods sake just phone a new health insurer”. Though slightly cheesed at his lack of empathy I picked myself up and engaged the google.

I called the first one that came up which was HIF Insurance. The young chap who answered the phone listened to all the explicit details of my abscess and lack of compassion from Medium Pirates. He was equally outraged by the cost of my policy and the lack of cover I got. I really felt that this was a dude who ‘got it’. Perhaps he has a lady in his life who is prone to histrionics as well because his approach to my distress was incredible (and made my husband look like an insensitive jerkwad by comparison).

He offered me a policy that covered myself, husband & 3 kids for less a fortnight that I was paying as a single entity with Medium Pirates! AND it covered extra stuff like ambulance and other things I should have had as a responsible adult. I was even able to claim for the dental work I had just got done. But wait, there’s more, he contacted my former provider on my behalf which was great because I was giving them the silent treatment anyways.

So, this blog is dedicated to HIF Insurance and that mystical man on the phone. I don’t know your name buddy but I imagine you to be this curly haired dude riding around on a unicorn with an aura that requires sunglasses to approach you. HIF, you guys and gals do a superb job. So in return I am giving you a shoutout to the world and calling on all my followers to get on board with HIF.

Once again, this is not a paid endorsement this is simply gratitude.

- Renae from WA


*** HIF UPDATE ***

The Sales Consultant mentioned in Renae's blog post is called Shamus. If you'd like to Shamus or another member of our team about your own health insurance needs, please call 1300 13 40 60 or email

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Category: HIF News


MJ posted at 6:24 PM 17-May-2015

That made my day. Yet to visit the dentist under my new-ish HIF cover. Praying no nasty surprises abscess or tooth wise. I don't know this curly haired unicorn riding phone answerer but all the people who have answered my calls have been GREAT.

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